Sen. Rand Paul’s got a lot of problems with the federal government, and now you’re gonna hear about it!

The libertarian-leaning Kentucky Republican channeled ornery “Seinfeld” patriarch Frank Costanza Friday in releasing his annual “Festivus Report” laying out nearly $500 billion in wasteful spending — including $118,000 from the National Science Foundation for a study on whether the Marvel movie villain Thanos could actually snap his fingers while wearing the Infinity Gauntlet.

“This year, I am highlighting a whopping $482,276,543,907 of waste, including a steroid-induced hamster fight club, a study to see if kids love their pets, and a study of the romantic patterns of parrots,” Paul said. “No matter how much money’s already been wasted, politicians keep demanding even more.”

Some of the most bizarre spending comes from National Institutes of Health research on animals, including a $2.3 million study injecting 6-month-old beagle puppies with cocaine, $1.1 million for “training mice to binge drink alcohol” and a $3 million study at Northeastern University that involved “watch[ing] hamsters fight on steroids.”